Surprisingly Similar Sermon

   This morning, as I was sitting in church, it was kind of obvious that God was speaking directly to me. It didn't really matter who else was in the room, because God wanted ME to hear him speaking through our pastor this morning. It was one of those deja vu moments. "Hmm..I'm pretty sure the blog I wrote last night was about this EXACT same thing." (I even texted Julie and said something to the effect of, "this is all sounding really familiar.") God is funny like that.
   The Sermon was on Progressive Sanctification. Our Pastor was preaching from Romans 6. We didn't stay there for long though.  It was a sword drill kind of morning, for sure (flipping from one Bible passage to the next to the next). The verses that hit me the most were verses I actually memorized during at Wildwood (summer camp) the summer following senior year of high school. Romans 12.

Romans 12

English Standard Version (ESV)

A Living Sacrifice 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,^[a] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.^[b] 2 Do not be conformed to this world,^[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.^[d]

Gifts of Grace

³ For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members,^[e] and the members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; ⁷ if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads,^[f] with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, withcheerfulness.

Marks of the True Christian

⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,^[g] serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.^[h] Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. ¹⁹ Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it^[i] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” ²⁰ To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

   Roger that, Lord. I hear ya loud and clear. Thank you for knocking me upside the head until my pitiful little brain comprehends. 
   I have been hearing this song (see below) on Pandora a lot lately. To say I have fallen in love with the words doesn't even begin to explain it. It came on today while I was thinking about the sermon and doing some baking. The words struck me even harder than before. "My WHOLE life I place in your hands." Think about that. Do you mean it? I do. At least, I want to mean it. I know God is helping me to understand how to do that. Here I am, Lord.

Take a listen.....

Letting Go. Then what?

   Letting go....it's not easy. It's not even slightly simple. Have you ever heard God asking you OVER AND OVER AND OVER to let something go but, you (being your lovely stubborn self) reply, "God, you're kidding right? I can't let that go. It's too much a part of my life. I'm not addicted or idolizing it, I just, I just, I just....uh....like it."But, again, He patiently says OVER AND OVER AND OVER like he does in Deuteronomy, "You shall have no other gods before me." Well, crap. I guess he really means it and yes, in fact, YOU ARE IDOLIZING IT. Oops. Shoot. Dang it. ok ok ok ok, FINE!!! I'll let it go. 
   Now, what do I do with my time? What's that you say, Lord? "Have an eternal focus?" As in, learn to be more like Jesus? Ok, let's look at what Jesus spent his time doing. Ready for this (I'm not sure I am)? Here goes:
1. Teaching
2. Discipling 
3. Praying
4. Loving 
5. Stepping outside of himself to help people
6. Feeding the hungry
   These are just to name a few. Well, crap again. So if I want to be more Christ like and have an eternal focus, I need to teach, disciple and pray more often. Stop filling my time with meaningless junk. Sarah, you spent an entire year at Bible college preparing to be a missionary. Just because you didn't end up being called to a mission field in a foreign country, does NOT mean you have an excuse to hole yourself up in your apt and ignore the mission field at your finger tips. 
Ouch. 
   Matthew 28:16-20
¹⁶ Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. ¹⁷ And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted.¹⁸ And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Yes, Lord.
     

3am is the new 6am, right?!

   What is it that people are saying these days? 30 is the new 20? Well, I guess I am just taking this advice to heart in every area of my life, even when it comes to sleep. I have blogged about this before and tried everything under the sun to get it in order, buuuuut, my body hates me. haha. So, that leads to me wrapping my mind around the fact that 3am is my new 6am. I guess I'll just have to live with that fact for now until by God's saving grace, SOMETHING starts working.
   Eating healthy, going to the gym, taking supplements and just plain ol' relaxing my mind have not done a single thing and it only seems to get worse as I get older. So, here I am on the brink of 26 years old, aaaaand I sleep like a 3 month old. Oh well, one day, when I have screaming infants and no choice of whether I do or don't sleep, I'll be thankful for learning how to function on no sleep. Until then, well, I'll just be thankful for the very few good nights of sleep I get per month.
Holla!!
White girl out.

Ever Wonder Why...?

   Have you ever wondered why it hurts more to watch someone else go through a painful situation than it does to go through it yourself? I think it's because you can't do anything to fix it. At least when it's you, you can self soothe or just sit around and feel sorry for yourself. When it's someone else, all I want to do is reach in to their chest and cradle their heart!!
   I'm learning that I'm just plain 'ol doomed in this area. Being a tender hearted person, who truly and genuinely loves people to their core, comes at a very high cost! It makes me also wonder how Jesus did it. I mean, obviously he was Jesus, so that part about being fully God helped, but being fully man too? How could he walk this earth and not be depressed ALL OF THE TIME?! When my friends and family hurt, I hurt bad! Jesus loves EVERYONE on this lowly earth so much that he died for us to keep on living our messed up lives and still spend eternity with him!
   Welcome to my thoughts. I have very high highs and very low lows. My dad likes to call it being "passionate." I'll stick with that description because this world would probably label me as "dramatic." Thanks for helping me put a positive spin on it dad.

Heaven

   I have been thinking about heaven a lot lately. Is it possible to miss a place you've never been before? Because, I do.....a lot. I can't wait to not have to miss anyone again, but rather, be kneeling side by side with them singing "holy holy holy is the Lord God almighty, who was and is and is to come."
I miss my family, my cousin, my sisters and their families and my friends.
My heart hurts.
Jesus, hurry for me.

Domestic Princess

   There is no earthly pleasure, at this time in my life, that makes me happier than being domestic. After church on Sundays, I tend to go home and "Pinterest it up." With whisk in hand, the culinary adventures begin!
   Today I made Taco Cupcakes, Chicken and Salsa (in the crock pot), salads (for lunches this week) and, to top it all off, a no flour chocolate cake. My kitchen was a mess! Although the dish washer has been run twice this weekend, my heart couldn't be happier!

  Taco Cupcakes

On This Day 4 Years Ago....

my true story began.
   January 31st 2009 was the beginning of a journey that I am still on today. A journey to find joy in this hopeless and lost world. I can very clearly remember my feelings on that morning. As every young bride is, I was nervous, excited and full of hope for the future. I had dreamed about my wedding since I was a little girl. What female doesn't? If I would have known ahead of time what that night was going to bring, my life would not be the same today.
   Often I have been asked, "If you could go back and change things, would you?" My answer to that would look something very similar to the article I am about to share. The author, Lesha Myers, was one of our beloved authors for the Institute for Excellence in Writing. She was an amazing woman. This is her story titled, "Cancer Blessings."

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (James 1:2-4)
The gals at the Look Good...Feel Better seminar I attended were talking about how cancer had changed their lives, and I mentioned how cancer has been a huge blessing to me. All of a sudden the room got very quiet and everyone stared at me. I felt compelled to continue and said how it had taught me a lot about myself and my family, increased my faith, taught me what is important in life, and brought me greater clarity and focus. The room was still deadly quite, and then one of the cosmologists changed the subject.
Afterwards, I got to thinking about this awkward moment and the truth of what I blurted out. Cancer has blessed me tremendously. It's not something I've enjoyed, suffering never is, and it's definitely something I never want to go through again, Still, it's taught me lessons that I don't think I could have learned in any other way. The verse at the top says to "count it all joy when you fall into various trials"; not if, when. All of us will suffer at some point in our lives; it's what we receive or take from the suffering that matters.

Apparently we commemorate John Calvin's 500th birthday this month, and I've read a couple of bios about him in various Christian magazines. I never realized how much the man suffered. His only child died at 22 days, his beloved wife died after only 8 1/2 years of marriage, he had malaria, migraine headaches (think—no aspirin), kidney stones (whoa!), hemorrhoids (in the days before cars—he had to ride a horse), stomach pains, insomnia, and the article says "and much besides."
When people experience severe suffering, like my cancer or Calvin's maladies, it's tempting to ask Why? or Why me? Calvin said this is the wrong question, and a better one is What for? What lesson does the Lord want us to learn? What part of our selfish character does He wish to chip away? What kind of empathy does He want us to develop (2 Cor. 1:4)? Suffering builds character. Even the Perfect Man had to learn obedience through suffering (Heb. 5:8). Why should we expect anything less?
Suffering isn't a punishment from God; it just is. It's a result of a fallen world, a consequence of sin. Yes, God can relieve suffering, and yes, He never gives us more than we can handle (1 Cor 10:13), but He is not unjust to allow us to suffer. Think of it this way: Imagine all of us running as fast as we can towards a cliff with a sheer drop-off onto a rocky ocean. When we get there, we're through—a symbol of our life and the eventual end of it. If God reaches down and changes the direction of a runner, He's not being unjust to the rest, is He? No. He's being merciful to the one, but the others are experiencing normality—at least the normality of this world since the Fall (Genesis 3)...
Suffering is a great mystery and not a lot of fun. But it is our lot (Job 5:7). That being the case, let's not waste it.

   
   My "cancer" came in the form of a man. A man who walked in to my life, took my hand and asked me for my future. Through the trials that followed, when this man turned around and walked away, I learned to trust the Lord more than I ever have in my life. These lessons have been tough, so very tough. Would I change them? No way!

On this day 4 years ago, I entered in to what I thought was a pretty predictable future.

On this day 4 years ago, my world became a different place.

On this day 4 years ago, my trust in the Lord began to be rocked.

On this day 4 years ago, I made a choice and a promise.

On this day 4 years ago, my life changed forever!  

For that, I am grateful.