internet is a good thing to have when you want to blog

My friend helped me set up the internet on my phone to my computer today and I am SOOOO thankful! It has been too long and now hopefully I can blog!

As I was driving and thinking today a thought came to my mind. I am not sure I have had this one yet. I was praying for Jeremiah and I thanked God for everything He used to teach me and Jeremiah in the horrible circumstances. After I said it I thought to myself "Thank you?! Am I really thankful for going through something so horrible?!" The answer: Yes I am. Would I change what happened if I had a chance? I'm not sure I would. I can't believe that at the age of 24 I have learned so much and come so far. 

I have gone through emotions, pain and growth that I never knew was possible.

I have learned to be ok with the situation no matter what it is. 

And all because of the places God chose to take me and break me until I followed HIS plan. I am blessed!! I AM THANKFUL!! I would like to feel whole again of course but i don't think i would change the brokenness for a "normal" life. I am finally O-K-A-Y with being alone....PRAISE GOD! 

What if His blessings come through rain drops?

I love Laura Story's newest song called "Blessings." She went through a very heart breaking experience with her husband's health and this song came out of that. It basically is as if she wrote it for me. The lyrics go like this:
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise


This is right where my heart is at right now. I love meditating on the words. Yesterday I was asked by someone if I ever felt hopeless, or a lack of passion. One time I do remember wanting to give up on life in general but other then that the answer has been no. I told her that maybe in the situations that I have been dealing with I have felt that each circumstance might be hopeless. but LIFE has not been hopeless or passionless because my hope is in the Lord. She was surprised by that answer. I mean obviously I have had my days where I probably have said life is pointless but all in all I have always known where to keep my hope. Why would I give up on the one thing that gives me a reason to live?! That would be such a waste! I am excited to see where the summer leads me. Healing is coming to a close. I am being given tools to close this chapter of pain, anguish and suffering and it is sooooo freeing and rejuvenating! I know this is not the last trial I will go through but it's ok because "what if His blessings come through rain drops? What if His healing comes through tears?" It makes it worth that pain. 
Father's day was a special day where not only was I able to celebrate with my dad and another "dad" of mine but also because it is a day when we get to celebrate our ABBA. I always love going to church on Father's day. What an appropriate place where we can show our love for our abba Father and remember and appreciate Him! 


signed,
me


Ps...Sissssssster..I miss you but I love reading your blog and seeing how much you are learning and discovering! 

silence

Well friends, With no internet comes no blogs. I have had a lot going on in my head lately and frankly probably would not have been able to put it into words. That will change soon enough hopefully. It seems as if i don't even know what I am thinking as of late. The one thing that never changes is the Word of God is powerful and comforting. I have been trying to be better about reading it lately and failing miserably. BUT when i do sit down and read i am truly blessed. tears have been my friend and satan has been my enemy but all in all life keeps trudging along and my feet keep dragging behind me. I have an interesting encounter on monday which could be life altering. we shall see. As a line from a good song goes "God is great, beer is good and people are crazy." sums it up right there.
signed,
me

BLESSED!!!!

Today, when I got to church, I went to sit in the row of seats my family always sits. Someone was sitting there talking to my grandma who always sits in front of us, so I moved over a few seats. When she got up my mom noticed there was a card sitting on the seat with my first and last name written on it (there are maaany Sarah's at church but this was clearly for me). As worship was starting I opened the card to see that it was one of our church's encouragement cards that you can get from the office to fill out for anyone and give it to them. The only thing it said on the inside was "GOD BLESS" with a very generous gift inside!!! GOD IS SOOOOOOO AMAZING in the way HE provides!!! I am in aw! Thank you Lord!

Easily excited

Is it sad that one of the most exciting moments of my week is getting the grocery store adds in the mail?! Cause I totally get all excited! (wow..what a California way of saying that "I totally get all excited!" bring on the blond hair and rainbow sandals! haha) It becomes a plan of attack. I set them all out on the floor around me and map out my shopping trip! HA! I Was kinda disappointed at this weeks adds though. There is another good deal on cereal that also includes granola bars and other such items so I'll be hitting that up at Stater Brothers! Other then that...not much to report.
Sarah and I met at the stables today and played with Cash for a good two hours. We had a blast trying to get his lazy butt up and moving! I love horse days!
Tomorrow is AUNTIE/PIGLET DAY!!! It probably tops getting the adds in the mail as far as excitement level! haha! I love spending time with my little bundle of joy!!

Cheese

Today I was talking to my mom about being a bargain shopper. I always fill them in on all the good deals cause that is how I roll on such a tight budget. This week I had so much fun running from one store to the next hitting all the amazing deals! At Albertsons they had buy 3 boxes of cereal for only 5 dollars and THEN get a FREE gallon of milk along with them!! WOOOOOOW! Then I hopped over to Stater Brothers where they had their 75th anniversary sale by selling a lot of products for 75 cents and then on top of that a 10 item sale where when you bought any of the 10 items in any of the categories you would get 7.50 off your total. They were cheap items too like 1 and 2 dollar products. I was trying to remember the 75 cent products to tell my mom and one of them that I hadn't mentioned was cheese. I said "they had soap, ect, ect...oh cheese." Right when I said Cheese Hercules turned his head and looked at me because that it is his nick name. It was so funny! we got a kick out of it! I should start blogging about penny pinching. It is quite the art form and I enjoy every minute of it!

Blessings among Blessings

Seems like this is just a good time of year! I have another amazing opportunity standing before me! My friend Sarah bought a horse last week. We used to have horses together but hers died about the same time I had to give mine away before moving to Europe. Sooooooo when she was thinking about getting another horse she called me and asked if I wanted to get in on this! We decided that I would clean (which is saving her money) and pay her a VERY minimal amount (since I have NO extra money) to be able to share in her fun with the Horsey! I am so excited that this opportunity came about for us! The horses were such amazing therapy for me during my entire childhood and now I get to add this to the healing process!! Blessed beyond measure! Thank you God and Sarah for allowing me to be a part of this! I am already in love with Cash. :)