What a week it has been! Let's just say it has been busy! It all started with some not so good news from one of my closest friends who is very sick. My heart broke into a million pieces. I wish I could be there with her in person to give her a hug while we sit and cry together but I can't.... so I sit here (hundreds of miles away) and pray instead. I know that God is in control and has a plan for everything that happens in our lives but sometimes that is hard to see in the midst of the pain.
Anyways, This week was very slow at work but very busy in the "wedding world." Diane is in full swing planning her wedding so that means a lot of meetings with vendors/people who are helping make the big day perfect. I am really excited and privileged to be a part of this whole process. Plus, it's giving me something to do since most of the time while I'm not at work, I am bored out of my mind! It is still proving to be really hard having most of my friends living so far away (at least an hour drive), so that makes for some lonely days off. But I am getting by and staying in Clear Creek as much as possible. I think once I have my own place the loneliness won't necessarily go away but I will feel more willing to invite people over. Hopefully once I am in a better routine I can sleep again too. That is a very large hope!
There is not much to report this week other than that. I really miss everyone at home. If I was a millionaire I would fly home every once in a while just to say hi. It is proving much harder to find joy in this journey as the time goes by so I am praying that God will fill this lonely void soon......
Friday, June 8, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Insecurity
Sometimes I wish insecurity wasn't a word in my vocabulary but somehow it always seems to find me. I don't understand why I can be so secure in Jesus but still feel insecure in this world! When I meet new people I wonder if they are judging me. When I am getting to know new friends I feel the need to be around them as much as possible to make sure that they love me and think only good things about me. Why? I HAVE NO IDEA! Don't get me wrong, I am WAY less insecure then I have ever been (it was bad in high school) but it still sneaks it's way in there. Do I show it? Hardly ever! But I can feel it and I catch myself doing it and it is irritating as heck!
It is not usually a fun thing when someone comes up to me and says "you are one of the strongest people I've ever met" because it is normally when I am going through a time of "strengthening" and feel so insecure it's not funny. I don't want to be strong most of the time and I know I don't have to be because I have someone who can be strong for me and His name is Jesus. That does not mean that I don't feel the blows as they come at me but it does mean that I don't have to take them alone. I want to be so secure in Jesus that I NEVER doubt. For the most part this is true already but in the end it comes down to my sinners heart and I WILL fail. I am so glad my Jesus is there to pick me back up when I do.
It is not usually a fun thing when someone comes up to me and says "you are one of the strongest people I've ever met" because it is normally when I am going through a time of "strengthening" and feel so insecure it's not funny. I don't want to be strong most of the time and I know I don't have to be because I have someone who can be strong for me and His name is Jesus. That does not mean that I don't feel the blows as they come at me but it does mean that I don't have to take them alone. I want to be so secure in Jesus that I NEVER doubt. For the most part this is true already but in the end it comes down to my sinners heart and I WILL fail. I am so glad my Jesus is there to pick me back up when I do.
Friday, June 1, 2012
If I were truly SUZI HOMEMAKER (AKA the Proverbs 31 woman)....
....I would have the perfect blog that was so entertaining people would want to read it every time I post.
....I would make dinner every night and it would be so delicious it was devoured within minutes of being off the stove.
....My car, room and office would be spotless and adorably decorated at all times.
....I would always be in the middle of a craft, scrapbook, sewing project or baking session.
....I would always entertain.
....My hair, make-up and outfits would be perfect everyday.
....I would spend time with Jesus more then I spend time on the internet.
....I would have good books all over the place and be motivated to read them and soak up their knowledge. ....I would work out everyday not just because I want a perfect body but because I want to be healthy. BUT, alas, I am NOT SUZI HOMEMAKER (AKA the Proverbs 31 woman)! I am usually too busy, tired or, to be completely honest unmotivated to blog, cook, clean, read my Bible, entertain or anything else that I just mentioned. Hence, the reason why I've been living here for 6 weeks now and I have blogged once. If it weren't for the guilt factor I probably wouldn't blog at all. But, I know how much I like reading blogs from my friends that live far away, who I don't ever get to see. Then I think about all my friends and family who possibly feel the same way about me. So, here I sit...again at Starbucks (like last time)...blogging. It's raining outside and a BEAUTIFUL day so I am motivated to sit for a while and type.
Here goes nothin'......
The last month+ has been another whirlwind. I LOVE my job and everyone I work with. Monday through Thursday are my favorite days of the week because I get to go to work. Soon, I will be going in Monday-Friday and it will be that much better! The Company and the product are something I have been influenced by for over 10 years now so it is SO FUN being able to promote the product to people who eat it up!
It is a long drive into the office, but I wouldn't trade that drive time for anything. It's a nice time to sing, pray and ponder. Everyday as I am enduring that time behind the wheel I think to myself "Why don't I move closer?" Then, I bust up laughing because I can NOT imagine me and my little California self living in the MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!! It AIN'T (like that? I'm already starting to sound like an Okie!) gonna happen! I LOVE the city! As much as I am too busy to enjoy it half the time, I couldn't go without seeing the concrete jungle at least every other day!
I have started staying with my lovely friend, Rebecca and her family one night a week to save on gas as well as enjoy their company. I have quickly become like family with the people in the Clear Creek community and I love it! The other day Diane and I went over to the Buscemi (Diane's family) household for dinner. Diane observed the kids behavior and made a comment about how it didn't take long for me to become a part of the family. The boys jumped right in and served themselves and left us girls to fend for ourselves. It was pretty funny but I loved it! I am just one of the gang now I guess (the gang consists of 8 kids). I felt like Sandra Bullock in "While You Were Sleeping" (FAVE) where she is sitting around the Christmas tree with the family who she accidentally became part of (watch it for the whole story...it's the best movie ever!) and observes. She is not used to being part of a family which leaves her overwhelmed by how loud and crazy it is, but you can tell by the look on her face that she is loving every minute of the "family feel." She can't help but sit and stare in aw of how the family acts with each other. Fortunately, I was raised in a loud, rowdy family myself (sorry mom but it's true). Even though there were only three kids we practically had 5 children because either my cousins, two "sisters" or friends were always over. I loved it!!! So that being said, I have no problem fitting right in and fending for myself in large families. I actually feel most at home with large families. This community of people is such a blessing! They have taken me under their wing and made me feel at home just when I was starting to think I would never have friends here.
Anyways, about Diane, She is probably the one I relate the most with in this tight nit crowd. That's not to say I don't love and get along with all the other girls out here. Especially my Becky Becky Lou Lou head!! I had Diane at work but never really had the chance to get to know her until two weeks ago when we were sent to Arkansas together for the weekend to attend a convention for work. It was one of those things where the second we started talking we just knew that weekend was divine intervention and not happenstance. We got in the car after work and braced ourselves for a 6 hour drive. The thought was kinda sickening because it had already been a long day, BUT we were determined to make the best of it! We drove the brand new company car, so that made the drive a little more fun! (Let's be real, I LOVE road trips!) After stopping in the nearest town, Tahlequah, for dinner, we got back in the car and headed towards the great state of AR! *Side note: I accidentally said AK to someone over Skype and they so lovingly corrected me and basically told me I am dumb because AK is Alaska. HA! What can I say? I wanted to visit my Sewah who lived there!!*
Before we knew it, we were in AR, because we didn't stop talking the ENTIRE drive! Checking in to the hotel was kinda nerve racking (that's another story for another time) but we got in and everything was fine. Once we were all settled in, we continued to talk until 2am like giggly little school girls, then, fell asleep. In all reality, I tend to talk a lot as most of you know (and you can witness by the length of this blog). Diane, was REALLY tired the next morning, since I had kept her up half the night, but we found this ADORABLE little coffee shop right next to the university where the convention was being held! SO, life was all good after that. ;) It took us a good three hours to get our booth set up but we made an awesome team so it went really smoothly. The minute the doors opened our booth was swarmed with people and we were SOOOO not prepared for it! We didn't have a fourth table for our "check out station", the credit card machine wasn't set up and people were EVERYWHERE!!! It was really fun though!! The weekend went really well and the next thing we knew it was time to go home. At 6:30pm, we had the booth shut down and the car packed up, so we hit the road once more. (We stopped for gas and dinner before actually getting on the road.) Diane then proceeded to fill out our Post Convention Report and I proceeded to have a dance party with singing, dancing and all that other fun stuff. This led to a few wrong turns (which I blamed on Diane and her lack of entertaining me in the first place :P) and an interesting time getting back on the right track! But that just makes for an adventure and really funny story, right?
Anyways, that was just the beginning of an amazing friendship. We have been spending most waking moments together (along with our third musketeer, Becky) since then. Once she gets married (I am now officially her wedding planner BTW!) in less then 50 days (!) and moves to Tulsa we will start carpooling to work. She has already claimed that my car is half hers and her sandals are sitting in it right now...such a dork! All that to say, I am feeling very much at home here now and wouldn't trade my life for the world!
In other news, Church is great! It is small but such a lovely little community of people! I have connected with several people there as well. :)
Last Friday I became an official Okie when I got my Drivers license, License plate and toll road pass! *Side note: THERE ARE TOLLS EVERYWHERE HERE!!!!* It is really weird seeing my cute little white car with an Oklahoma license plate on the back of it (since they only have plates on the back of their cars here). It was totally serial walking right up to the counter at the "Tag Agency" and being handed a license plate off the top of the stack while my drivers license was being printed out in less then two minutes! After all the craziness I had getting the stinking things, it was refreshing to have it be so easy at the end!
Last topic of interest is....I WAS APPROVED FOR AN APARTMENT (not that I thought I would have a hard time, but it is still exciting!) and I move in June 29th!! I couldn't be more excited! My Twister is coming to help me move in and bringing me some furniture from my Grandparent's house that just sold in TX.
She is also the BESTEST sissy in the entire world and bought me a BEACH CRUISER for no reason other then she loves me! I am SOOOO Excited to ride it on the river where everyone rides their bikes around here!
As usual this is really long but there ya have it. My life in a nutshell! Feel free to call, text, email or facebook me because I miss you all terribly! Much love! -Sarah
....I would make dinner every night and it would be so delicious it was devoured within minutes of being off the stove.
....My car, room and office would be spotless and adorably decorated at all times.
....I would always be in the middle of a craft, scrapbook, sewing project or baking session.
....I would always entertain.
....My hair, make-up and outfits would be perfect everyday.
....I would spend time with Jesus more then I spend time on the internet.
....I would have good books all over the place and be motivated to read them and soak up their knowledge. ....I would work out everyday not just because I want a perfect body but because I want to be healthy. BUT, alas, I am NOT SUZI HOMEMAKER (AKA the Proverbs 31 woman)! I am usually too busy, tired or, to be completely honest unmotivated to blog, cook, clean, read my Bible, entertain or anything else that I just mentioned. Hence, the reason why I've been living here for 6 weeks now and I have blogged once. If it weren't for the guilt factor I probably wouldn't blog at all. But, I know how much I like reading blogs from my friends that live far away, who I don't ever get to see. Then I think about all my friends and family who possibly feel the same way about me. So, here I sit...again at Starbucks (like last time)...blogging. It's raining outside and a BEAUTIFUL day so I am motivated to sit for a while and type.
Here goes nothin'......
The last month+ has been another whirlwind. I LOVE my job and everyone I work with. Monday through Thursday are my favorite days of the week because I get to go to work. Soon, I will be going in Monday-Friday and it will be that much better! The Company and the product are something I have been influenced by for over 10 years now so it is SO FUN being able to promote the product to people who eat it up!
It is a long drive into the office, but I wouldn't trade that drive time for anything. It's a nice time to sing, pray and ponder. Everyday as I am enduring that time behind the wheel I think to myself "Why don't I move closer?" Then, I bust up laughing because I can NOT imagine me and my little California self living in the MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!! It AIN'T (like that? I'm already starting to sound like an Okie!) gonna happen! I LOVE the city! As much as I am too busy to enjoy it half the time, I couldn't go without seeing the concrete jungle at least every other day!
I have started staying with my lovely friend, Rebecca and her family one night a week to save on gas as well as enjoy their company. I have quickly become like family with the people in the Clear Creek community and I love it! The other day Diane and I went over to the Buscemi (Diane's family) household for dinner. Diane observed the kids behavior and made a comment about how it didn't take long for me to become a part of the family. The boys jumped right in and served themselves and left us girls to fend for ourselves. It was pretty funny but I loved it! I am just one of the gang now I guess (the gang consists of 8 kids). I felt like Sandra Bullock in "While You Were Sleeping" (FAVE) where she is sitting around the Christmas tree with the family who she accidentally became part of (watch it for the whole story...it's the best movie ever!) and observes. She is not used to being part of a family which leaves her overwhelmed by how loud and crazy it is, but you can tell by the look on her face that she is loving every minute of the "family feel." She can't help but sit and stare in aw of how the family acts with each other. Fortunately, I was raised in a loud, rowdy family myself (sorry mom but it's true). Even though there were only three kids we practically had 5 children because either my cousins, two "sisters" or friends were always over. I loved it!!! So that being said, I have no problem fitting right in and fending for myself in large families. I actually feel most at home with large families. This community of people is such a blessing! They have taken me under their wing and made me feel at home just when I was starting to think I would never have friends here.
Anyways, about Diane, She is probably the one I relate the most with in this tight nit crowd. That's not to say I don't love and get along with all the other girls out here. Especially my Becky Becky Lou Lou head!! I had Diane at work but never really had the chance to get to know her until two weeks ago when we were sent to Arkansas together for the weekend to attend a convention for work. It was one of those things where the second we started talking we just knew that weekend was divine intervention and not happenstance. We got in the car after work and braced ourselves for a 6 hour drive. The thought was kinda sickening because it had already been a long day, BUT we were determined to make the best of it! We drove the brand new company car, so that made the drive a little more fun! (Let's be real, I LOVE road trips!) After stopping in the nearest town, Tahlequah, for dinner, we got back in the car and headed towards the great state of AR! *Side note: I accidentally said AK to someone over Skype and they so lovingly corrected me and basically told me I am dumb because AK is Alaska. HA! What can I say? I wanted to visit my Sewah who lived there!!*
Before we knew it, we were in AR, because we didn't stop talking the ENTIRE drive! Checking in to the hotel was kinda nerve racking (that's another story for another time) but we got in and everything was fine. Once we were all settled in, we continued to talk until 2am like giggly little school girls, then, fell asleep. In all reality, I tend to talk a lot as most of you know (and you can witness by the length of this blog). Diane, was REALLY tired the next morning, since I had kept her up half the night, but we found this ADORABLE little coffee shop right next to the university where the convention was being held! SO, life was all good after that. ;) It took us a good three hours to get our booth set up but we made an awesome team so it went really smoothly. The minute the doors opened our booth was swarmed with people and we were SOOOO not prepared for it! We didn't have a fourth table for our "check out station", the credit card machine wasn't set up and people were EVERYWHERE!!! It was really fun though!! The weekend went really well and the next thing we knew it was time to go home. At 6:30pm, we had the booth shut down and the car packed up, so we hit the road once more. (We stopped for gas and dinner before actually getting on the road.) Diane then proceeded to fill out our Post Convention Report and I proceeded to have a dance party with singing, dancing and all that other fun stuff. This led to a few wrong turns (which I blamed on Diane and her lack of entertaining me in the first place :P) and an interesting time getting back on the right track! But that just makes for an adventure and really funny story, right?
Anyways, that was just the beginning of an amazing friendship. We have been spending most waking moments together (along with our third musketeer, Becky) since then. Once she gets married (I am now officially her wedding planner BTW!) in less then 50 days (!) and moves to Tulsa we will start carpooling to work. She has already claimed that my car is half hers and her sandals are sitting in it right now...such a dork! All that to say, I am feeling very much at home here now and wouldn't trade my life for the world!
In other news, Church is great! It is small but such a lovely little community of people! I have connected with several people there as well. :)
Last Friday I became an official Okie when I got my Drivers license, License plate and toll road pass! *Side note: THERE ARE TOLLS EVERYWHERE HERE!!!!* It is really weird seeing my cute little white car with an Oklahoma license plate on the back of it (since they only have plates on the back of their cars here). It was totally serial walking right up to the counter at the "Tag Agency" and being handed a license plate off the top of the stack while my drivers license was being printed out in less then two minutes! After all the craziness I had getting the stinking things, it was refreshing to have it be so easy at the end!
Last topic of interest is....I WAS APPROVED FOR AN APARTMENT (not that I thought I would have a hard time, but it is still exciting!) and I move in June 29th!! I couldn't be more excited! My Twister is coming to help me move in and bringing me some furniture from my Grandparent's house that just sold in TX.
She is also the BESTEST sissy in the entire world and bought me a BEACH CRUISER for no reason other then she loves me! I am SOOOO Excited to ride it on the river where everyone rides their bikes around here!
As usual this is really long but there ya have it. My life in a nutshell! Feel free to call, text, email or facebook me because I miss you all terribly! Much love! -Sarah
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