"What is the inspiration for this second blog?"you may be asking. Well, I couldn't help but share how blessed I am. Just before I "went to bed" last night I was about to get depressed. I could feel the self pity coming on. My desires to NOT be alone anymore were eating away at my soul. Let's be real, I was sad, mad, heart broken and lonely. THEN, my true knight in shining armor came to my rescue and I got to stay up all night with him!! Jesus, MY Jesus, spent all night comforting me. How cool is that?! Wanna know what He told me? He told me to be patient because HE is all I need and He is preparing someone specifically for me!! ME Lord?! Just for me?! Ok, I will wait with excitement and patience! One day It will all make sense and I will look back on this time as a precious memory. I love getting to be up all night with the one who truly matters in my life! You're the best Jesus!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Two in "one" day!
You never thought it was possible did you?! Two in one day has only ever happened once in my three years of blogging! I'll go ahead and pat myself on the back now. ;)
"What is the inspiration for this second blog?"you may be asking. Well, I couldn't help but share how blessed I am. Just before I "went to bed" last night I was about to get depressed. I could feel the self pity coming on. My desires to NOT be alone anymore were eating away at my soul. Let's be real, I was sad, mad, heart broken and lonely. THEN, my true knight in shining armor came to my rescue and I got to stay up all night with him!! Jesus, MY Jesus, spent all night comforting me. How cool is that?! Wanna know what He told me? He told me to be patient because HE is all I need and He is preparing someone specifically for me!! ME Lord?! Just for me?! Ok, I will wait with excitement and patience! One day It will all make sense and I will look back on this time as a precious memory. I love getting to be up all night with the one who truly matters in my life! You're the best Jesus!
"What is the inspiration for this second blog?"you may be asking. Well, I couldn't help but share how blessed I am. Just before I "went to bed" last night I was about to get depressed. I could feel the self pity coming on. My desires to NOT be alone anymore were eating away at my soul. Let's be real, I was sad, mad, heart broken and lonely. THEN, my true knight in shining armor came to my rescue and I got to stay up all night with him!! Jesus, MY Jesus, spent all night comforting me. How cool is that?! Wanna know what He told me? He told me to be patient because HE is all I need and He is preparing someone specifically for me!! ME Lord?! Just for me?! Ok, I will wait with excitement and patience! One day It will all make sense and I will look back on this time as a precious memory. I love getting to be up all night with the one who truly matters in my life! You're the best Jesus!
Wee morning hours with Jesus
I'm not gonna lie, these late night/early morning dates with Jesus are becoming pretty special. As much as I would love to be sleeping during this time of the night, I also love being able to spill my thoughts on Jesus in a different way then I can during the distraction of the day light. I'm less anxious to move on and hurry through my time with Him in the middle of the night (especially because there is nothing else I really could be doing). Yes, I'll admit, I do get distracted by Facebook but after about 5 minutes there is nothing to look at because everyone else is sleeping and therefore not posting.
Tonight has been precious. There have been several things on my mind. This is what it all comes down: "Lord, do I really trust you? I mean REALLY trust you! With every aspect of life. Do I?!" Well, not always. I like being in control. This whole not being able to sleep thing has been realllllllly frustrating, but, do I trust that God knows I need sleep and will allow me to do so? Do I trust Him to be listening when I cry out for mercy in the middle of the night? Do I trust that he knows the desires of me heart? Do I trust that his timing is perfect in every aspect of my life?
I've been doing a lot of reflecting tonight and honestly it's hard to believe that I've been through so much in my relatively short life. How did I manage to survive? That seems to be the question I keep asking myself. I didn't do it alone, that's for sure! The only reason I survived was because of my Savior! So when I question myself and think "do I really trust you Lord?" I can honestly say, "yes! I do I do I do!" If I didn't, well, for the sake of bluntness, I wouldn't be here anymore. Honestly, I think I would have lost the motivation to live without Jesus. What else is there to live for? Not much.
So all of that to say, I trust you with my WHOLE life Lord. Please let your will be done in me. Let me clearly reflect you in everything that I do.
I know this verse is over quoted but I love it even more now then ever.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He WILL direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
As the rest of you are sound asleep I will continue to enjoy my time with Jesus and trust that in the morning I will have the energy to serve and worship him.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
THE wedding
Well well well, the day finally came and went yesterday! What an exhausting, crazy, fun, stressful, baby screaming, hyper kinda day it was! I think I walked up and down the THREE flights of stairs too and from Diane's apt like 8007 (maybe a slight exaggeration) times!
So the week started for me on Thursday. I got off work and ran straight to Diane's apt for the bachelorette party. We had a lot of fun celebrating, playing games and opening presents with Diane. But I still had to work the next day so I peaced out at like 11. Thur night I was able to sleep a little then off to the Walker's for work I went on Fri morn. It was a slow morning and there was a lot to get done (and Mikeal was getting ready to proposed to Jessica so the whole Walker family was leaving the house), so I left at one and ran home to get ready. After I was ready to go, I went to Diane's apt to help out. When I got there Kristin and I ran to two different Micheals to get more sprinkles for the cupcakes. For those of you that have seen (or heard) Bill Ingval and his "Hears your sign skit" you will totally understand. I walked in to the micheals and the girl at the counter asked me if I "had a big project." I so wanted to look at her and say "No I just decided to buy every bottle of cup cake sprinkles you have so that I could see how many I could get in my mouth at one time! Here's your sign" BUT, because I am quick on my feet it came out like this, "Weddings tomorrow. Ran out of sprinkles. Brides kinda stressed. I'm solving the problem!"and then jet out the door. haha! Due to the sprinkles disaster it was too late to meet everyone back at the apt so Kristin and I headed to the church. I have NEVER seen so much TRAFFIC in Tulsa!! What the heck?! It took us 45 minutes to get to the church but thank goodness we were still on time! The rehearsal went well then we drove all the way to Locust Grove for dinner. There was some miscommunication so we ended up with 6 people needing to get back to Tulsa and a little tiny 5 seater rental car. It was quite the experience! 4 of us squished in the back where none of us could sit straight because we literally couldn't fit all of our hips in a row on that little tiny bench seat. We eventually ended up with Diane on top of all of us. It was a clown car moment for sure! After a few little issues the Beautiful Bride was on her way to bed and I was on my way home!
The Next thing I knew my alarm went off and it was WEDDING DAY!!!!!! I received an adorable text from Diane that morning that said "No bubble or sparklers for the grand exit. Problem or no problem?" haha. So I responded with "no problem" of course and then we had a lovely little early morning text chat sesh. She is so precious! Once I was ready I headed out the door (About 9am) to make my way to Diane's apt. Diane and Becky were diligently getting ready when I walked in the door. We spent some time chatting it up while the bride was getting her hair done then Heather (Brides new sis in law) and I headed to the church (after walking up and down the stairs about 7052 times) to set up candles and stuff. When we got back Diane sent me to taco bell to get lunch for all the girls. The ADORABLE photographer was there when I arrived home from taco bell and was taking pictures of the bride and bridal party. Denise (one of the bridesmaids) needed help with her baby, Aiden, so I got him for a little while. We went to the church at 2:30. The bridal party (10 BRIDESMAIDS!!!) along with the bride and moms squished into a little tiny cry room that was probably no bigger then 10x10. It was TINY!!!! This is where things got interesting. I closed the center isle doors (all of this is happening while I have Aiden on my hip BTW) because people were not walking gracefully and kept knocking the candles lining the center isle over. It was quite the problem. So my solution was to let people seat themselves on the outside and go in the two side doors. Well, some how the doors kept getting shut and the center isle door kept getting opened. After re opening the doors and shutting the center ones twice I noticed who it was that kept undoing what I had just done. It was very frustrating! Then the Brides grandma and brother went MIA so I am not gonna lie, IT WAS STRESSFUL!!!!!! We never ended up finding them and the wedding had to go on without them. The bridal party made there way down the isle and then came the STUNNING BRIDE!!! She was soooo gorgeous! The grand entrance went off without a hitch until the brides dress almost caught on fire at the end of the isle, NBD. lol!! Luckily one of the audience members saw it and ran over to lift her dress off the candle. This is when I didn't get to see anything else because it got too loud with all the moms and babies in the entry way so I closed the doors and the wedding went on. It was an hour and a half latin mass so Aiden and I got to enjoy watching (and when I say "enjoy" I mean he screamed the whole time. For being the baby whisperer this baby did NOT want to be whispered. weird) from the cry room.
Once the ceremony was over the bridal party greeted the guested and then headed to a park down the street and everyone else headed to the reception hall. It was an eventful drive to say the least. First off I had a the DJ tex me and ask me to come find him when I got there. Second my GPS said I was there but I kinda found a problem with that when the address it lead me to was someones front door. The funny thing was that this happens all the time apparently so there were about 4 other cars behind me. One of the Neighbors came out and told us where to go so we led a little caravan over to the Glenpool event center. I eventually made it there and was able to pow wow with he DJ. We worked really well together. Surprisingly enough the Bridal party was ON TIME from taking pictures so we got the party started!!! The reception was flawless!!! It was such a blast!! I was able to enjoy the party while staying on top of things. We drank, ate and danced our hearts out. The Walker family (and the soon to be Walker, Jessica), Cameron and his sister, Sophie sat with me. We enjoyed each others company to the max! I adore Sophie! We became fast friends!! Thankfully she doesn't live too far ( about 2 hours) so I think we will get to hang out some!! I can't wait!
Anyways, So many things happend at the reception that I won't waste your time with any more detail then was already given. I will tell one funny story though. Diane and I were goofing off (what's new right?) and as I was shaking my booty at her she ran up behind me and knocked my glass of red wine in my hand ALL OVER HERSELF and me!! It was pretty funny. So I grabbed her arm and we ran into the bathroom. Luckily those stains will come out with dry cleaning. The bride and groom headed out the door at 11:30 and off to wedded bliss they went! It was such a lovely wedding! We were able to get all cleaned up and leave by 12:30. It was a night to remember for sure! I love my new friends so much and was so honored to play a part in the big day!
Welp, I better run. About to Skype in to Sarah J's baby shower!!!!! YAY! Have an awesome week everyone!
So the week started for me on Thursday. I got off work and ran straight to Diane's apt for the bachelorette party. We had a lot of fun celebrating, playing games and opening presents with Diane. But I still had to work the next day so I peaced out at like 11. Thur night I was able to sleep a little then off to the Walker's for work I went on Fri morn. It was a slow morning and there was a lot to get done (and Mikeal was getting ready to proposed to Jessica so the whole Walker family was leaving the house), so I left at one and ran home to get ready. After I was ready to go, I went to Diane's apt to help out. When I got there Kristin and I ran to two different Micheals to get more sprinkles for the cupcakes. For those of you that have seen (or heard) Bill Ingval and his "Hears your sign skit" you will totally understand. I walked in to the micheals and the girl at the counter asked me if I "had a big project." I so wanted to look at her and say "No I just decided to buy every bottle of cup cake sprinkles you have so that I could see how many I could get in my mouth at one time! Here's your sign" BUT, because I am quick on my feet it came out like this, "Weddings tomorrow. Ran out of sprinkles. Brides kinda stressed. I'm solving the problem!"and then jet out the door. haha! Due to the sprinkles disaster it was too late to meet everyone back at the apt so Kristin and I headed to the church. I have NEVER seen so much TRAFFIC in Tulsa!! What the heck?! It took us 45 minutes to get to the church but thank goodness we were still on time! The rehearsal went well then we drove all the way to Locust Grove for dinner. There was some miscommunication so we ended up with 6 people needing to get back to Tulsa and a little tiny 5 seater rental car. It was quite the experience! 4 of us squished in the back where none of us could sit straight because we literally couldn't fit all of our hips in a row on that little tiny bench seat. We eventually ended up with Diane on top of all of us. It was a clown car moment for sure! After a few little issues the Beautiful Bride was on her way to bed and I was on my way home!
The Next thing I knew my alarm went off and it was WEDDING DAY!!!!!! I received an adorable text from Diane that morning that said "No bubble or sparklers for the grand exit. Problem or no problem?" haha. So I responded with "no problem" of course and then we had a lovely little early morning text chat sesh. She is so precious! Once I was ready I headed out the door (About 9am) to make my way to Diane's apt. Diane and Becky were diligently getting ready when I walked in the door. We spent some time chatting it up while the bride was getting her hair done then Heather (Brides new sis in law) and I headed to the church (after walking up and down the stairs about 7052 times) to set up candles and stuff. When we got back Diane sent me to taco bell to get lunch for all the girls. The ADORABLE photographer was there when I arrived home from taco bell and was taking pictures of the bride and bridal party. Denise (one of the bridesmaids) needed help with her baby, Aiden, so I got him for a little while. We went to the church at 2:30. The bridal party (10 BRIDESMAIDS!!!) along with the bride and moms squished into a little tiny cry room that was probably no bigger then 10x10. It was TINY!!!! This is where things got interesting. I closed the center isle doors (all of this is happening while I have Aiden on my hip BTW) because people were not walking gracefully and kept knocking the candles lining the center isle over. It was quite the problem. So my solution was to let people seat themselves on the outside and go in the two side doors. Well, some how the doors kept getting shut and the center isle door kept getting opened. After re opening the doors and shutting the center ones twice I noticed who it was that kept undoing what I had just done. It was very frustrating! Then the Brides grandma and brother went MIA so I am not gonna lie, IT WAS STRESSFUL!!!!!! We never ended up finding them and the wedding had to go on without them. The bridal party made there way down the isle and then came the STUNNING BRIDE!!! She was soooo gorgeous! The grand entrance went off without a hitch until the brides dress almost caught on fire at the end of the isle, NBD. lol!! Luckily one of the audience members saw it and ran over to lift her dress off the candle. This is when I didn't get to see anything else because it got too loud with all the moms and babies in the entry way so I closed the doors and the wedding went on. It was an hour and a half latin mass so Aiden and I got to enjoy watching (and when I say "enjoy" I mean he screamed the whole time. For being the baby whisperer this baby did NOT want to be whispered. weird) from the cry room.
Once the ceremony was over the bridal party greeted the guested and then headed to a park down the street and everyone else headed to the reception hall. It was an eventful drive to say the least. First off I had a the DJ tex me and ask me to come find him when I got there. Second my GPS said I was there but I kinda found a problem with that when the address it lead me to was someones front door. The funny thing was that this happens all the time apparently so there were about 4 other cars behind me. One of the Neighbors came out and told us where to go so we led a little caravan over to the Glenpool event center. I eventually made it there and was able to pow wow with he DJ. We worked really well together. Surprisingly enough the Bridal party was ON TIME from taking pictures so we got the party started!!! The reception was flawless!!! It was such a blast!! I was able to enjoy the party while staying on top of things. We drank, ate and danced our hearts out. The Walker family (and the soon to be Walker, Jessica), Cameron and his sister, Sophie sat with me. We enjoyed each others company to the max! I adore Sophie! We became fast friends!! Thankfully she doesn't live too far ( about 2 hours) so I think we will get to hang out some!! I can't wait!
Anyways, So many things happend at the reception that I won't waste your time with any more detail then was already given. I will tell one funny story though. Diane and I were goofing off (what's new right?) and as I was shaking my booty at her she ran up behind me and knocked my glass of red wine in my hand ALL OVER HERSELF and me!! It was pretty funny. So I grabbed her arm and we ran into the bathroom. Luckily those stains will come out with dry cleaning. The bride and groom headed out the door at 11:30 and off to wedded bliss they went! It was such a lovely wedding! We were able to get all cleaned up and leave by 12:30. It was a night to remember for sure! I love my new friends so much and was so honored to play a part in the big day!
Welp, I better run. About to Skype in to Sarah J's baby shower!!!!! YAY! Have an awesome week everyone!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Sleepless Thoughts
So, as some of you may have gathered from Facebook, I CAN'T SLEEP! I have been having these sleepless issues for my whole life but it has been exceptionally worse since I moved here. This makes no sense to me WHAT. SO. EVER. I have no idea why this... really...NO IDEA!!! Some nights I wake up so startled that I am fighting back tears because I can't BELIEVE what I just dreamt! Other nights I wake up for no reason at all and lay there staring at the ceiling. I have tried EVERYTHING to make it better: exercising, taking valerian root, using lavender oils and bathing in lavender soap, doing them all together..I mean, let's be real...I've tried every solution under the sun (other then taking sleeping pills which I REFUSE to do because I can no commit to getting a certain amount of sleep every night and I will NOT risk getting addicted or waking up groggy)!
Yesterday I was texting with my friend Becky and she asked me if I pray before bed. I was ashamed to tell her that I don't. I really have a hard time with that issue. Sometimes I try really hard and other times I just don't. So, last night, after our conversation, I decided to heed her advice and pray before falling asleep. My problem is, I am a horrible prayer. As a child who was born and raised in a Christian home with parents who have INCREDIBLE prayer lives, HOW is this possible?! I can pray well in a crowd out loud and when I have specific things to pray about but when it's just me and Jesus, I just don't know what to say. Trust me, I love my savior more than anything in this world, but, I find myself distracted and frustrated while trying to talk to him. I know prayer is a discipline, but clearly I haven't taught myself that discipline very well. My mom is the most amazing prayer warrior I've ever met and I envy her ability to talk to our Savior the way she does! When I was laying awake in the middle of the night last night, for no reason, I felt the need to talk to Jesus. So I did. After about 2 minutes I found myself distracted as usual and I had no idea what I had even said already.
This is me being real with you. So, this is where I am going to open my blog up for advise. I don't really know that I would heed your advise for the sleep issues because the only thing left to try is sleeping aids and I will not do that. I am, however, wanting to know about your prayer life. How do you pray? In a closest on your knees as the scripture advises? It is something that I think is never really taught in the church because it is just supposed to be "natural" but honestly...it's not! I am a VERY talkative person who communicates very well but, I don't know how to pray. I have tried prayer journals and I do well with them for a while until I lose motivation to write in them. I have tried praying on my face so nothing around me can distract me but then my mind wanders. So anyways, here is where you (as the readers of this blog and fellow believers) tell me how you pray and maybe you can teach me how to pray. Like I said, I'm being real. This is kind of a taboo topic is seems because we should know how to talk to Jesus. So be real back, please!
Striving to be more like HIM everyday,
Me
Yesterday I was texting with my friend Becky and she asked me if I pray before bed. I was ashamed to tell her that I don't. I really have a hard time with that issue. Sometimes I try really hard and other times I just don't. So, last night, after our conversation, I decided to heed her advice and pray before falling asleep. My problem is, I am a horrible prayer. As a child who was born and raised in a Christian home with parents who have INCREDIBLE prayer lives, HOW is this possible?! I can pray well in a crowd out loud and when I have specific things to pray about but when it's just me and Jesus, I just don't know what to say. Trust me, I love my savior more than anything in this world, but, I find myself distracted and frustrated while trying to talk to him. I know prayer is a discipline, but clearly I haven't taught myself that discipline very well. My mom is the most amazing prayer warrior I've ever met and I envy her ability to talk to our Savior the way she does! When I was laying awake in the middle of the night last night, for no reason, I felt the need to talk to Jesus. So I did. After about 2 minutes I found myself distracted as usual and I had no idea what I had even said already.
This is me being real with you. So, this is where I am going to open my blog up for advise. I don't really know that I would heed your advise for the sleep issues because the only thing left to try is sleeping aids and I will not do that. I am, however, wanting to know about your prayer life. How do you pray? In a closest on your knees as the scripture advises? It is something that I think is never really taught in the church because it is just supposed to be "natural" but honestly...it's not! I am a VERY talkative person who communicates very well but, I don't know how to pray. I have tried prayer journals and I do well with them for a while until I lose motivation to write in them. I have tried praying on my face so nothing around me can distract me but then my mind wanders. So anyways, here is where you (as the readers of this blog and fellow believers) tell me how you pray and maybe you can teach me how to pray. Like I said, I'm being real. This is kind of a taboo topic is seems because we should know how to talk to Jesus. So be real back, please!
Striving to be more like HIM everyday,
Me
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Bribed
Let's be real, I was bribed to write this blog. I am not going to complain, though, because the bribe was totally worth it! To top it off I was given a Sbux gift card from my mom and dad. It came in my AWESOME package which I got from them today! They are the bestest! ;) Thanks parentals! So, as usual, here I sit at Sbux with my Iced coffee (due to the gagillion degree heat outside!! It's FREEEEZING in here though!), typing away. I have a lot to say, as usual, but I just don't know where to start. It would only make sense for me to begin with my random life stories per the norm. Since I last updated, A LOT has happened!! I'll just list everything and then possibly expand on it later.
1. Promoted to full time at work last week.
2. Got my new apartment last week.
3. Things have been getting busier at work and it is getting really fun!
4. Started working one day a week from "home" (the Walker's house). This means I was also given a brand new mac book to use for work (It lives at the Walker's house but STILL :) :) :))!!! AWESOME!
5. Joined worship team at church
6. Started getting to know people at church better and really enjoying their company/fellowship!
7. Finally re-united with one of my friends from home who moved here about 6 years ago! Can't wait to see you again Jen!
8. Visited my grandparents and twister in Abilene Tx!
9. My apartment was fully furnished by my grandparents due to the fact that they sold their house and moved back to the sunny state. HUGE BLESSING!!!
10. My twister showered me with presents for no reason! One of those gifts was a BRAND NEW BEACH CRUISER!! I have wanted one of those since I was a little girl!!
11. Joel Walker moved here. It is so nice to have a friend I grew up with near by!
12. The "Wedding of the Century" (my mom so loving nick named it that yesterday) is only two weeks away and Diane is finally stressing...poor thing! It will all be over soon and then=wedded bliss! ;)
13. REAL fireworks that leave the ground on 4th of July! SOOO FUN!
That's what's happening as of now. I'm sure there were other things but my brain is dead at the moment so I have nothing else to say. I shall think upon things and have a better blog for you next week. There have been some major spiritual thoughts running through my head as of late but they aren't exactly matured yet. Bye for now friends.
1. Promoted to full time at work last week.
2. Got my new apartment last week.
3. Things have been getting busier at work and it is getting really fun!
4. Started working one day a week from "home" (the Walker's house). This means I was also given a brand new mac book to use for work (It lives at the Walker's house but STILL :) :) :))!!! AWESOME!
5. Joined worship team at church
6. Started getting to know people at church better and really enjoying their company/fellowship!
7. Finally re-united with one of my friends from home who moved here about 6 years ago! Can't wait to see you again Jen!
8. Visited my grandparents and twister in Abilene Tx!
9. My apartment was fully furnished by my grandparents due to the fact that they sold their house and moved back to the sunny state. HUGE BLESSING!!!
10. My twister showered me with presents for no reason! One of those gifts was a BRAND NEW BEACH CRUISER!! I have wanted one of those since I was a little girl!!
11. Joel Walker moved here. It is so nice to have a friend I grew up with near by!
12. The "Wedding of the Century" (my mom so loving nick named it that yesterday) is only two weeks away and Diane is finally stressing...poor thing! It will all be over soon and then=wedded bliss! ;)
13. REAL fireworks that leave the ground on 4th of July! SOOO FUN!
That's what's happening as of now. I'm sure there were other things but my brain is dead at the moment so I have nothing else to say. I shall think upon things and have a better blog for you next week. There have been some major spiritual thoughts running through my head as of late but they aren't exactly matured yet. Bye for now friends.
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