So, as some of you may have gathered from Facebook, I CAN'T SLEEP! I have been having these sleepless issues for my whole life but it has been exceptionally worse since I moved here. This makes no sense to me WHAT. SO. EVER. I have no idea why this... really...NO IDEA!!! Some nights I wake up so startled that I am fighting back tears because I can't BELIEVE what I just dreamt! Other nights I wake up for no reason at all and lay there staring at the ceiling. I have tried EVERYTHING to make it better: exercising, taking valerian root, using lavender oils and bathing in lavender soap, doing them all together..I mean, let's be real...I've tried every solution under the sun (other then taking sleeping pills which I REFUSE to do because I can no commit to getting a certain amount of sleep every night and I will NOT risk getting addicted or waking up groggy)!
Yesterday I was texting with my friend Becky and she asked me if I pray before bed. I was ashamed to tell her that I don't. I really have a hard time with that issue. Sometimes I try really hard and other times I just don't. So, last night, after our conversation, I decided to heed her advice and pray before falling asleep. My problem is, I am a horrible prayer. As a child who was born and raised in a Christian home with parents who have INCREDIBLE prayer lives, HOW is this possible?! I can pray well in a crowd out loud and when I have specific things to pray about but when it's just me and Jesus, I just don't know what to say. Trust me, I love my savior more than anything in this world, but, I find myself distracted and frustrated while trying to talk to him. I know prayer is a discipline, but clearly I haven't taught myself that discipline very well. My mom is the most amazing prayer warrior I've ever met and I envy her ability to talk to our Savior the way she does! When I was laying awake in the middle of the night last night, for no reason, I felt the need to talk to Jesus. So I did. After about 2 minutes I found myself distracted as usual and I had no idea what I had even said already.
This is me being real with you. So, this is where I am going to open my blog up for advise. I don't really know that I would heed your advise for the sleep issues because the only thing left to try is sleeping aids and I will not do that. I am, however, wanting to know about your prayer life. How do you pray? In a closest on your knees as the scripture advises? It is something that I think is never really taught in the church because it is just supposed to be "natural" but honestly...it's not! I am a VERY talkative person who communicates very well but, I don't know how to pray. I have tried prayer journals and I do well with them for a while until I lose motivation to write in them. I have tried praying on my face so nothing around me can distract me but then my mind wanders. So anyways, here is where you (as the readers of this blog and fellow believers) tell me how you pray and maybe you can teach me how to pray. Like I said, I'm being real. This is kind of a taboo topic is seems because we should know how to talk to Jesus. So be real back, please!
Striving to be more like HIM everyday,