Tax Deductible Dontations

Hi all!
As many of you know, we have been matched with a baby girl due Sept 4th. The due date is quickly approaching and we couldn't be more anxious and excited! Please see below for our donation information if you are interested in helping.

Here is our support letter:

Dear church, family, and friends,

God desires orphans of all nations to be adopted into Christ-honoring families so they can hear the
Word of God and ultimately be adopted into God’s eternal family through faith in Jesus Christ. While God calls us to fulfill James 1:27 and “visit the fatherless” not all are called to adopt. Some are called to pray, some to give financially, some to go on mission trips, and some to adopt.

We have partnered with Lifesong for Orphans to help us as we fulfill our call to adoption. They are a non-profit Christian ministry dedicated to help meet the needs of orphan children around the world, and to obey God’s call to “visit the fatherless...in their affliction” (James 1:27). With over 147 million orphans worldwide, Lifesong seeks to mobilize the Body of Christ to love and care for orphans. Lifesong serves families, churches and orphans through adoption funding. Additionally, Lifesong brings joy and purpose to orphans globally in seven countries and domestically through foster care initiatives. Please visit their website (www.lifesongfororphans.org) for more information.

As mentioned above, we have sensed God’s call to care for the fatherless and have joyfully stepped out in faith and obedience to adopt a child from the United States. As you may already know, adoption can cost $25,000-$40,000, and this financial burden prevents many godly families from adopting. Once finalization has happened we will have spent close to $40,000. These expenses include travel costs, agency fees, birth mother expenses and legal and medical costs. We have been fortunate and blessed that God has allowed us to get loans in the amounts we have needed so far but we are currently in need of travel funds. It is going to cost about $3,000 for the trip to meet and bring home our baby girl.

Funds donated to Lifesong for Orphans will be given to help cover our adoption expenses. Thank you so much for all you have done to support us so far. We are so blessed to have the body of Christ stand behind us in this journey towards bringing home out baby!

Here's how to donate:

Checks should be payable to “Lifesong for Orphans". In the memo, note “family name” and “family account number” (for us that is Suppe/#5559) to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744. Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fund-raising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

To pay online go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate. Select “Give to an Adoptive Family.” Complete the online form and fill in “Family Account Number” and “Family Name” fields (for us that is Suppe/#5559). Please note that PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $.30 USD per transaction). Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

In following legal IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.

Individual donations $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.

Trusting in Him to continue to provide,
Zach and Sarah

Off They Go!!

It feels surreal to say that our applications have been mailed!! Applications were sent to 3 different agencies. We have worked so hard to get to this point! The "waiting" stage is finally upon us. This is not a fun stage to be in but we actually feel like we can kind of take a breather now.

At this point we will be hearing about different expectant mom situations and decide if we want to "present" to them. "Presenting" involves allowing the birth mom to view our profile and see if we are the family she wants to raise her baby. As you can imagine, this is heart wrenching with each new presentation. However, we know God is good and He has the perfect situation for us. All we need to do is wait on Him.

Our next big step is fundraising. We have already begun with a shirt sale. Please let me know if you are interested. Email (tribbibly@gmail.com) or facebook with what size and design you want and let me know if you will send the $30 via paypal or a check (we can provide our address through private message).

We also plan to do a garage sale on August 15th. My sister gave us a bunch of stuff to sell and we have some furniture as well as small kitchen appliances. 

In August we will have the big auction! We can't wait to see how it turns out. My amazing childhood friend, Sarah, is putting it ALL together! What a blessing she is!!!!

Anyways, that is the happenings as of late. Thank you all for supporting us as we journey towards Baby Suppe! 

Home Study and Profile Books

Hey everyone!!

We are super excited to update you all and let you know that the home study was approved and finalized at the beginning of the month!! We now have those in hand. Our awesome consultant, Casey, finished our profile books and we will be getting those printed this coming week. Things are really moving along.
The next step includes sending our information to the agencies we have selected and waiting to receive cases from them. They will let us know of potential matches and we will reply and let them know if we want to be presented as a perspective family. The mother then looks through the profile books of us and several other families and picks one.
This is the part of the process that we have no control over. However, We truly feel like we are where God wants us to be so we are pretty calm and patiently waiting.
Thanks for all the support you guys have given!!! If you want to support us financially, we have set up a gofundme account. You can also email, text or Facebook message us if you would rather just have our address.

http://de.gofund.me/yvjjkg

We love you all!

God Guided Journey

Finally....the silence is over. We have decided to let the world know, WE ARE ADOPTING!!! Now, let's get you are caught up on the happenings thus far.

Sometime back in January Zach and I started to feel drawn away from infertility. We didn't really know what that meant but we knew we wanted to be done. Our opinions of what the future should hold were very different. This caused us to take a step back and leave the subject alone for awhile. In March, Zach approached me and said he felt like God was calling us to adopt. He knew that my heart had been ready to do this for as long as I could remember. After the shock wore off, I was able to ask some questions about what he meant. I said, "You know me. You know that I don't do things half way. Are we really going to do this now or are you thinking sometimes in the future?" He assured me that he was ready to get started on this crazy, exciting, exhausting journey. So, the journey began indeed.

I had been following this girl on Instagram that I found through a friend about six months earlier. She and her husband were adopting and they were having a fundraiser that led me to her. Their story intrigued me so I decided to follow along. Through the months of following her, I kept noticing posts she would make about her job. She worked for an organization called Christian Adoption Consultants. I told Zach about her when he mentioned the desire to adopt so I emailed her. Within a few days Casey and I had a phone conversation and we hired her to help us along our journey.

The next step was the home study. After a few emails to local social workers and asking someone from my bible study who she would suggest to hire, we found someone to hire. She and her partner have been working with us to complete the home study process since the end of March. It took us about 6 weeks to get all of our paperwork together and find a time to meet with them. Our scheduled meeting ended up being the DAY AFTER I got home from California in May. Delayed flights due to weather, 1am landing, VERY little sleep and last minute cleaning later, the social workers arrived at our door. The visit went really well and our house passed with no changes needed. The next week we had our individual interviews with them and last week we had our last meeting. Our report is written so now we are just waiting on CRAZY California to get their act together and get us the information we need from them in order for us to be home study approved. (They rejected our forms three times for such stupid reasons...ugh...don't even get me started.)

Where are we now you ask? We are waiting for our home study to be approved while Casey finishes up preparing our profile books and agency applications. Once all of that is done, we can apply to agencies and begin fundraising (for those that have already asked, keep an eye out for this information soon). We finally feel like we are getting somewhere!

The guest room has officially been deemed the future nursery. There's even a brand new crib (thanks to the soon to be Suppe grandparents), a car seat (thanks to the soon to be Walker grandparents. ;)) and some new and handy me down clothes (thanks to auntie Jacquelyn and Uncle Joey) sitting in there waiting for baby Suppe!!!!

It's a long process and there's still a long road ahead but we couldn't be more excited! Thank you all so much for supporting us in prayer and encouragement. We will try to keep you updated as often as possible.    

Mommy-to-be signing out.

Answers

For the past several months we have been searching for answers. It's exhausting. I have been poked and proded more times than I would like. After all that, we still have nothing to show for it. My whole life has gone like this. I know when there is something wrong with me and Dr's never have answers. Frankly, most of them tell me I'm crazy. This time around we are blessed with an amazing Dr who will not give up short of every test out there. But......we still have no answers. The blessing is that the initial diagnosis of PCOS was wrong. However, that is a double edged sword. With knowing that it's not PCOS comes relief but it also leaves us at square one, where we have been for months......
we can't create a solution without a problem. We are coming to the end of this Dr's rope where he will have to pass us off to the infertility clinic with the label of "unexplained infertility." At that point....well.....we will have to reevaluate the whole thing all over again. My heart hurts. That's what I am feeling right now. We have prayed so desperately for a child and we don't know God's plan. Thankfully He has one......

It hurts and that's ok

This is really fresh so I'm not sure how it will come out or if I'll even post this.

You know that fear that we all have (or several fears) that we think are totally unreasonable for you to be fearful of because it will probably never happen to you? Then, one dreadful day that fear becomes a reality. A very unwelcome, unwanted reality making itself at home in your life.

For me, that fear is infertility. Even with all the relationship bumps I've had in my life, I KNEW that one day, when God blessed me with the man of my dreams, He was calling me to be a mom. I was never one to want to wait after marriage to have kids. It takes at least 9 months for the baby to cook so that's long enough for just the two of us, right? Zach and I talked about it and agreed on the matter because we wanted a good size family and we aren't getting any younger. No, I don't think we are old but we aren't 21 either.

First came love, then came marriage, where is the baby in the baby carriage? At our age statistics state that it should take 6 months or less to achieve pregnancy. Well, 10 months in we decided to go to the Dr. I was given a very high likelihood of having PCOS and that is causing my body not to work properly. I'll spare you the female details. Then came the dreaded word that was used one (or ten) too many times during our appointment, infertility. Crashing down goes the dreams. We talked about a lot of stuff and my mind almost exploded. It basically comes down to this, due to the likelihood of PCOS (hard to diagnose so knowing for sure might not happen for a while or ever), there could be a long road ahead that might end in invetro (which we probably wouldn't do). Or there could be a short road that achieves pregnancy quickly. There is no way to know how long or short it will take until we start somewhere. We aren't looking for advice on how to "solve" our infertility problems because we have a great doctor and a plan. We have a starting point. A starting point that frankly gives me hope and scares me all at the same time.

The thing is, I KNOW we serve a big God and He truly does have it all in control. I am not questioning that. But, God created us to be emotional beings. To feel the highs and the lows, the happies and the sads, the goods and the bads. Right now, I feel like crap. These feelings are not new to me because on the crap scale, I've been dealt a lot. I know where to turn when crap is the only word I can use to describe my shattered dreams. My heavenly father is meeting me in the muck and walking me through step by step all while holding me in his arms. He is ok with my pain. He wants me to feel it. So, for now, I will feel it. The pain of letting go of my dreams. My dreams of achieving pregnancy easily like most other woman. The dream of having kids back to back with ease. The dream of being a mommy right out of the gate and starting our happy little family when we wanted to. It hurts. and that's ok.    

My God is....

My God is a comforter, a healer, a friend. He is a giver of justice and peace. My God is a promise keeper and a protector. My God saves. My God parted the red sea. He brings us through the impossible. My God gives LIFE. My God LOVES. My God REDEEMS. My God is a warrior. He fights on my behalf. My God is a giver. He is the sacrificial lamb. He died for YOU and for ME! My God IS LOVE! He knows my every thought, my every dream, desire and plan. He keeps His promises. To these truths I will cling.

Desert Song
By Hillsong United

[Verse 1:]

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

[Verse 2:]
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me, Lord, through the flame

[Chorus:]
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

[Verse 3:]
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

[Chorus:]
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

[Bridge 4x:]
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

[Chorus 2x:]
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

[Verse 4:]
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow 

Blatantly Bad Blogger

   I'm really bad at this. Let's just get that out in the open, mmmmk? Now that we all agree, let's begin with an interesting lesson that's been on my heart.

   Over the last few days the weather has been amazing! We're talkin' gloomy fall weather where the temps don't get above high 60's. My favorite! Due to this glorious weather, I have been taking the wee one I hang out with on Fridays and Saturdays for walks. We bundle up and head outside to walk among the gloom. Nothing makes me feel warmer inside than cold weather outside (at least in the fall....winter is whole other story). Don't ask me why. I know it's backwards. Anyways, yesterday while we were walking along, I heard God's still small voice, in the silence of the outdoors, using the wee one as an example. You see, she just turned one and is still very awkward on her feet. While we walk, she has a habit of looking behind her and getting very distracted. This always makes her trip over herself and fall if I'm not holding her hand tightly. God spoke to my heart while I was watching her do this. He told me that I need to stop looking being me and being so distracted. Don't get so tripped up by the past and stop distracting yourself from the present. 

   This is a timely illustration, as last Sunday we learned in church about idols. I come down to the same conclusion every time we learn about idols. I know it sounds funny but "distraction" is my idol. I always find something "better" (horrible, i know) to do than spend time with my maker. Tv, Facebook, Dishes, Laundry, Instagram, Games on my phone...you name it, I do it. I know there is a time and a place for these things but the time and the place is not ALL of the time and in EVERY place to avoid being productive for the kingdom. 

So, there you have it. My goal is to learn how to be present. Man, to be distraction free. Think of all the things that can be accomplished in my most precious and meaningful relationship.........  

Mary, not Martha.

    I know I know, it's been forever. Part of my issue/excuse is that when I quit my job back in dec then I had to give my laptop back because it belonged to the company. Add that in to getting married, moving, having a down right hard transition period of getting used to living in a new place and generally having nothing to say (yes it can happen to even this chatter box) then I just haven't cared about blogging. Now that I have an iPad (happy birthday to me...kind of...more like Verizon gave it to us for free) I will trrrrry to be better about it, but no promises.

   My inspiration today has actually been brewing for a while now....

   Let's start back in oct. (or so) when the decision to quit my job was made. Zach and I decided that with his grueling and odd work schedule and my normal Mon. To Fri. Schedule, we would likely not see each other because he is mostly off in the middle of the week. Since we did not "need" my income we figured it would be best for me to be home and able to spend time with him when he is off instead of having to be wrapped up in phone calls and emails that come along with working from home. Me not have to work? Sweet! ......or so I thought. People who know me all too well were questioning how I would occupy myself which began me in a tail spin of heroic ideas. "I'll volunteer at a soup kitchen or find a way to make a difference in the world!" Let the OKC volunteer position research begin.

   Fast forward to about a week before the wedding when it all hit me like a ton of bricks in the face. "I'm moving. Hold the phone, I didn't sign up for this! I signed up for quitting my job and getting married but moving two hours away from where I currently call home and love?! nonono. I've worked for a year and a half to build this support network. Move to Tornado alley?! no thanks." Needless to say I had a major freak out and had to be convinced that selling Zach's house and making him move two hours away from his well paying job to live in a tiny apartment in Tulsa just so my life wouldn't change was not a good idea. The convincing worked. I was settled with the idea of moving.......in that moment. 

    Fast forward again through "oh so happy wedding and honeymoon" period to the day Zach left for his first rotation of shifts. I.was.a.mess. I think I cried for hours on end and pitied myself for about a week. I let myself have some grieving time before the "heroine" would get to work. A week became a few weeks (throwing Christmas and a few happy visitors in there). I did manage to get transferred from the Tulsa bible study fellowship group to the OKC one in this time period. 

   Finally, it was the end of Jan. This was when I jumped on a plane to Florida to visit one of my bestest (yes it's a word :p) friends. On that plane ride I finished the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. This began a whole new inspiration to be the heroine I just "knew" I was supposed to be. Let more research and ideas commence.

   Fast forward a third time through February where I decided I really needed to get off my butt, so, I applied for a job, did more research, emailed a local organization seeing if they needed help and had several "what am I doing with my life?!" conversations with a few people. Nothing came of any of the "plans" I made for myself. 

  Finally we get to present day. Let's just say that still nothing has happened and I've even applied for another job somewhere in there and heard nothing back. For the last few days the story of Mary and Martha has been rolling through my head. We are studying Matthew in Bible Study Fellowship right now so it comes as no surprise to me that this story is fresh in my mind....but why? For the past 36 hours the words "be Mary, not Martha" have been floating through my mind. I keep hearing it over and over. "God? Is that you?" It dawned on me, there has never been a time in my life when I haven't had school or work consuming my everyday. This time I have is a gift. Martha was too distracted by being prepared and "doing" that she totally missed it. But, Jesus blessed Mary for being the one who truly got it. Jesus was there. He was with them and he wouldn't be there for very long. Mary knew that soaking in every second that she had to sit at his feet was 100000000% worth putting the "doing" aside for. Has God called me to be a light for his kingdom and be reaching the lost? ABSOLUTELY! Are there times that he wants us to enjoy his presence without daily distraction? YES! So, for now, I will put aside my "heroine" attitude and realize that Jesus is calling me. What is he calling me to do? He is calling me to enjoy his presence because I may never have a time like this again. 

Powerful

I have been thinking a lot today about the power in Jesus' name. At the sound of his name every knee will bow. At the sound of his name satan flees. It's so simple, people. Why do we hesitate to call upon the name of The Lord when there is so much power behind it?! Instead we tend to use his name in vein and throw it around like there is no meaning. Let us recognize who God is and how much power there is in his son's name!!!

Paper Flowers

Hey guys! Here is the really simple tutorial on making the paper flowers I am making for the wedding. Hope it helps those that are wanting to learn! 

Make sure you have a perfect square. 

Fold it in to a triangle.

Fold both bottom ends up to meet the top of the triangle. 

It will look like this. 

Let the edges you just folded fall open then flatten them out like in the picture. Do both that way. 

It will look like this.

Then fold the tips in so they are even with the edge. Do both sides like that. 

Then re fold the ends closed on the fold you made earlier. (Like the left side of this picture) Do both sides like that.

Glue the ends together so it looks like this. Then glue five of these together to make a flower! 

Happy crafting!

 

Cry Out to Jesus

   Sometimes I just need to inhale as much air as I can and scream out to Jesus. The last few days have been such days. My little Piglet (one of my best friends kiddos) has been visiting me and I swear that is God's way of keeping joy in my life right now when all I want to do is throw something breakable at the wall! He is my little ray of sunshine. "Auntie, I come to see you on an airplane!" "I was thrust into your arms at my birth. You have been my God from the moment I was born. Do not stay so far from me, for trouble is near, and no one else can help me. My enemies surround me like a herd of bulls; fierce bulls of Bashan have hemmed me in! Like lions they open their jaws against me, roaring and tearing into their prey. My life is poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart is like wax, melting within me. My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead. My enemies surround me like a pack of dogs; an evil gang closes in on me. They have pierced my hands and feet. I can count all my bones. My enemies stare at me and gloat. They divide my garments among themselves and throw dice for my clothing. O Lord, do not stay far away! You are my strength; come quickly to my aid! Save me from the sword; spare my precious life from these dogs. Snatch me from the lion’s jaws and from the horns of these wild oxen. I will proclaim your name to my brothers and sisters. I will praise you among your assembled people. Praise the Lord, all you who fear him! Honor him, all you descendants of Jacob! Show him reverence, all you descendants of Israel! For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help." (Psalms 22:10-24 NLT)
   Verses like these help me remember that even David who was the "man after God's own heart" had similar moments and he did just what I try to remember to do...... Cry out to Jesus!

A Chunk of My Heart Lives in Washington (Part 1)

   I have been avoiding blogging lately. It is such a sweet place to reminisce and clear my head, but, it can also be a painful place as I hash through the issues of life in writing. Sometimes it's easier to take a break and not think for a while. To say the two weeks preceding my trip to WA were awful, would be a complete understatement. So, for now, we will focus on the trip and maybe come back to the other stuff later.  
   So....the trip. It was long and short at the same time. I never understand how that happens, but it does. It was so fun watching Rebekah meet Kai for the first time. He loved her. We had 24 hours with him and Jefri right when we got to Tacoma. Jefri picked us up from the airport, then, the agenda contained A LOT. We took pictures with the easter bunny, ate chipotle (for Rebekah, who begs for it every time she is near one), went to swim lessons, drank Boba Tea, perused Pike Place Market, Uwajimaya Market for Sushi and Pho (MMMMMMMMmmmmMMMMMM!!!!), had movies and cheesecake at Jefri's condo, a good night sleep and a great morning conversation with the Geortzens and breakfast with Jefri. Whew, it was a packed but AWESOME 24 hours!
   After breakfast, Seth brought me and Rebekah our parent's Toyota Camry, which he had brought back with him when he went to visit them via bus a few days earlier. Seth went home then Rebekah and I took off. The road trip was SO FUN! We talked, laughed, took pictures, played in the snow on the passes and just plain ol' bonded. It was great! By the time we got to Endicott, it was mid afternoon and we were so happy to be there. Mom took us on a walk to see the "thriving metropolis" of Endicott (as my parents like to joking call it), which took all of 15 minutes. haha. On the walk back around to the house (it is located right next to "city hall"), my mom noticed the door to city hall was open and there were people there. We went in to check out what was going on and found out it was a food bank run by Second Harvest. SO COOL! Second Harvest is an organization that our church back home partners with once a month to do a food bank for the community. Anyways, that evening we made dinner and chilled.
   Friday morning, Rebekah, Dad and I walked to "coffee with the guys" at "Jenny's Store" (the only store in town). The guys got a total kick out of Rebekah because she could "shop talk" with the best of 'em. They are mostly farmers (or were at some point in time). This group of guys goes to coffee every morning and hangs out together until about 10am. Sometimes, Jenny serves breakfast and coffee. Other times it's just coffee. Every Friday is breakfast sandwich day. This is a big deal, mind you! After coffee, dad had a dr appointment in Colfax (closest "big" town), so mom, Rebekah and I went along to see the sites. We stopped at "Tick Clock" to get dad's meds. It is an adorable gift shop/catch all type store with a pharmacy inside. Next stop was the grocery store to get stuff for Easter breakfast at the church. We couldn't find what we needed (mini donuts) for our little Pinterest project, so we went to the gas station and found them there. At home, we hung out and mom and Rebekah gardened. After that, we made dinner then did some prep for the easter egg hunt the next day.
   To be Continued......

Surprisingly Similar Sermon

   This morning, as I was sitting in church, it was kind of obvious that God was speaking directly to me. It didn't really matter who else was in the room, because God wanted ME to hear him speaking through our pastor this morning. It was one of those deja vu moments. "Hmm..I'm pretty sure the blog I wrote last night was about this EXACT same thing." (I even texted Julie and said something to the effect of, "this is all sounding really familiar.") God is funny like that.
   The Sermon was on Progressive Sanctification. Our Pastor was preaching from Romans 6. We didn't stay there for long though.  It was a sword drill kind of morning, for sure (flipping from one Bible passage to the next to the next). The verses that hit me the most were verses I actually memorized during at Wildwood (summer camp) the summer following senior year of high school. Romans 12.

Romans 12

English Standard Version (ESV)

A Living Sacrifice 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,^[a] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.^[b] 2 Do not be conformed to this world,^[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.^[d]

Gifts of Grace

³ For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members,^[e] and the members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; ⁷ if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads,^[f] with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, withcheerfulness.

Marks of the True Christian

⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,^[g] serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.^[h] Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. ¹⁹ Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it^[i] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” ²⁰ To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

   Roger that, Lord. I hear ya loud and clear. Thank you for knocking me upside the head until my pitiful little brain comprehends. 
   I have been hearing this song (see below) on Pandora a lot lately. To say I have fallen in love with the words doesn't even begin to explain it. It came on today while I was thinking about the sermon and doing some baking. The words struck me even harder than before. "My WHOLE life I place in your hands." Think about that. Do you mean it? I do. At least, I want to mean it. I know God is helping me to understand how to do that. Here I am, Lord.

Take a listen.....

Letting Go. Then what?

   Letting go....it's not easy. It's not even slightly simple. Have you ever heard God asking you OVER AND OVER AND OVER to let something go but, you (being your lovely stubborn self) reply, "God, you're kidding right? I can't let that go. It's too much a part of my life. I'm not addicted or idolizing it, I just, I just, I just....uh....like it."But, again, He patiently says OVER AND OVER AND OVER like he does in Deuteronomy, "You shall have no other gods before me." Well, crap. I guess he really means it and yes, in fact, YOU ARE IDOLIZING IT. Oops. Shoot. Dang it. ok ok ok ok, FINE!!! I'll let it go. 
   Now, what do I do with my time? What's that you say, Lord? "Have an eternal focus?" As in, learn to be more like Jesus? Ok, let's look at what Jesus spent his time doing. Ready for this (I'm not sure I am)? Here goes:
1. Teaching
2. Discipling 
3. Praying
4. Loving 
5. Stepping outside of himself to help people
6. Feeding the hungry
   These are just to name a few. Well, crap again. So if I want to be more Christ like and have an eternal focus, I need to teach, disciple and pray more often. Stop filling my time with meaningless junk. Sarah, you spent an entire year at Bible college preparing to be a missionary. Just because you didn't end up being called to a mission field in a foreign country, does NOT mean you have an excuse to hole yourself up in your apt and ignore the mission field at your finger tips. 
Ouch. 
   Matthew 28:16-20
¹⁶ Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. ¹⁷ And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted.¹⁸ And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Yes, Lord.
     

3am is the new 6am, right?!

   What is it that people are saying these days? 30 is the new 20? Well, I guess I am just taking this advice to heart in every area of my life, even when it comes to sleep. I have blogged about this before and tried everything under the sun to get it in order, buuuuut, my body hates me. haha. So, that leads to me wrapping my mind around the fact that 3am is my new 6am. I guess I'll just have to live with that fact for now until by God's saving grace, SOMETHING starts working.
   Eating healthy, going to the gym, taking supplements and just plain ol' relaxing my mind have not done a single thing and it only seems to get worse as I get older. So, here I am on the brink of 26 years old, aaaaand I sleep like a 3 month old. Oh well, one day, when I have screaming infants and no choice of whether I do or don't sleep, I'll be thankful for learning how to function on no sleep. Until then, well, I'll just be thankful for the very few good nights of sleep I get per month.
Holla!!
White girl out.

Ever Wonder Why...?

   Have you ever wondered why it hurts more to watch someone else go through a painful situation than it does to go through it yourself? I think it's because you can't do anything to fix it. At least when it's you, you can self soothe or just sit around and feel sorry for yourself. When it's someone else, all I want to do is reach in to their chest and cradle their heart!!
   I'm learning that I'm just plain 'ol doomed in this area. Being a tender hearted person, who truly and genuinely loves people to their core, comes at a very high cost! It makes me also wonder how Jesus did it. I mean, obviously he was Jesus, so that part about being fully God helped, but being fully man too? How could he walk this earth and not be depressed ALL OF THE TIME?! When my friends and family hurt, I hurt bad! Jesus loves EVERYONE on this lowly earth so much that he died for us to keep on living our messed up lives and still spend eternity with him!
   Welcome to my thoughts. I have very high highs and very low lows. My dad likes to call it being "passionate." I'll stick with that description because this world would probably label me as "dramatic." Thanks for helping me put a positive spin on it dad.

Heaven

   I have been thinking about heaven a lot lately. Is it possible to miss a place you've never been before? Because, I do.....a lot. I can't wait to not have to miss anyone again, but rather, be kneeling side by side with them singing "holy holy holy is the Lord God almighty, who was and is and is to come."
I miss my family, my cousin, my sisters and their families and my friends.
My heart hurts.
Jesus, hurry for me.

Domestic Princess

   There is no earthly pleasure, at this time in my life, that makes me happier than being domestic. After church on Sundays, I tend to go home and "Pinterest it up." With whisk in hand, the culinary adventures begin!
   Today I made Taco Cupcakes, Chicken and Salsa (in the crock pot), salads (for lunches this week) and, to top it all off, a no flour chocolate cake. My kitchen was a mess! Although the dish washer has been run twice this weekend, my heart couldn't be happier!

  Taco Cupcakes

On This Day 4 Years Ago....

my true story began.
   January 31st 2009 was the beginning of a journey that I am still on today. A journey to find joy in this hopeless and lost world. I can very clearly remember my feelings on that morning. As every young bride is, I was nervous, excited and full of hope for the future. I had dreamed about my wedding since I was a little girl. What female doesn't? If I would have known ahead of time what that night was going to bring, my life would not be the same today.
   Often I have been asked, "If you could go back and change things, would you?" My answer to that would look something very similar to the article I am about to share. The author, Lesha Myers, was one of our beloved authors for the Institute for Excellence in Writing. She was an amazing woman. This is her story titled, "Cancer Blessings."

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (James 1:2-4)
The gals at the Look Good...Feel Better seminar I attended were talking about how cancer had changed their lives, and I mentioned how cancer has been a huge blessing to me. All of a sudden the room got very quiet and everyone stared at me. I felt compelled to continue and said how it had taught me a lot about myself and my family, increased my faith, taught me what is important in life, and brought me greater clarity and focus. The room was still deadly quite, and then one of the cosmologists changed the subject.
Afterwards, I got to thinking about this awkward moment and the truth of what I blurted out. Cancer has blessed me tremendously. It's not something I've enjoyed, suffering never is, and it's definitely something I never want to go through again, Still, it's taught me lessons that I don't think I could have learned in any other way. The verse at the top says to "count it all joy when you fall into various trials"; not if, when. All of us will suffer at some point in our lives; it's what we receive or take from the suffering that matters.

Apparently we commemorate John Calvin's 500th birthday this month, and I've read a couple of bios about him in various Christian magazines. I never realized how much the man suffered. His only child died at 22 days, his beloved wife died after only 8 1/2 years of marriage, he had malaria, migraine headaches (think—no aspirin), kidney stones (whoa!), hemorrhoids (in the days before cars—he had to ride a horse), stomach pains, insomnia, and the article says "and much besides."
When people experience severe suffering, like my cancer or Calvin's maladies, it's tempting to ask Why? or Why me? Calvin said this is the wrong question, and a better one is What for? What lesson does the Lord want us to learn? What part of our selfish character does He wish to chip away? What kind of empathy does He want us to develop (2 Cor. 1:4)? Suffering builds character. Even the Perfect Man had to learn obedience through suffering (Heb. 5:8). Why should we expect anything less?
Suffering isn't a punishment from God; it just is. It's a result of a fallen world, a consequence of sin. Yes, God can relieve suffering, and yes, He never gives us more than we can handle (1 Cor 10:13), but He is not unjust to allow us to suffer. Think of it this way: Imagine all of us running as fast as we can towards a cliff with a sheer drop-off onto a rocky ocean. When we get there, we're through—a symbol of our life and the eventual end of it. If God reaches down and changes the direction of a runner, He's not being unjust to the rest, is He? No. He's being merciful to the one, but the others are experiencing normality—at least the normality of this world since the Fall (Genesis 3)...
Suffering is a great mystery and not a lot of fun. But it is our lot (Job 5:7). That being the case, let's not waste it.

   
   My "cancer" came in the form of a man. A man who walked in to my life, took my hand and asked me for my future. Through the trials that followed, when this man turned around and walked away, I learned to trust the Lord more than I ever have in my life. These lessons have been tough, so very tough. Would I change them? No way!

On this day 4 years ago, I entered in to what I thought was a pretty predictable future.

On this day 4 years ago, my world became a different place.

On this day 4 years ago, my trust in the Lord began to be rocked.

On this day 4 years ago, I made a choice and a promise.

On this day 4 years ago, my life changed forever!  

For that, I am grateful.